There’s an idea in philosophy that one should interpret another’s words with the best possible intention.
For instance, if your coach says to you, “Stop being so negative. It won’t get you anywhere in life,” you can perceive that in several ways:
“Coach is telling me I’m a terrible person. He hates me.”
“Coach is telling me I’m a negative person. It must be true.”
“Coach is noticing that I’m being negative. He might be right.”
“Coach cares about me so much that he’s pointing out my negativity.”
A great coach understands how his words will be perceived and misperceived, doing everything he can to mitigate misperception. But still, it’s unrealistic to expect he’ll always be understood.
No, the onus is on you to understand in the best possible way, because noticing good things tends to produce good results.