Before swiping right

Understand that swiping isn’t about you at all. In fact, for many of us, swiping right can only lead to more pain.

The legendary Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh explains in his book, How to Love:

“Often, we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering. When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love and understand another person.


Sometimes we feel empty, a great lack of something. We don’t know the cause, it’s very vague, but that feeling of being empty inside is very strong. We expect for something much better so we’ll feel less alone, less empty. Because we feel empty, we try to find an object of our love. When we realize that all our hopes and expectations of course can’t be fulfilled by that person, we continue to feel empty.

So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself. Learn to practice mindfulness in such a way that you can create moments of happiness and joy for your own nourishment. Then you have something to offer the other person.”


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