“How do I lose this piece of fat?”

There are two filters to pass before you should ask a trainer this question:

1) “Am I actually going to put in the work to lose this fat?”

Over the long term, the vast majority of people are not. In January it’s impossible to find space to work out in our fitness center. By April you practically have it to yourself. Most people will quit their journey to lose fat, and they’re better off not starting in the first place. Seth Godin calls this The Dip.

2) “Would I be better off practicing radical acceptance?”

The author Tara Brach coined the term “radical acceptance” in her book of the same title:

“Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is . . . Clearly recognizing what is happening inside us, and regarding what we see with an open, kind and loving heart, is what I call Radical Acceptance. If we are holding back from any part of our experience, if our heart shuts out any part of who we are and what we feel, we are fueling the fears and feelings of separation that sustain the trance of unworthiness. Radical Acceptance directly dismantles the very foundations of this trance.”

Basically, would you be better off changing the emotion rather than changing your appearance? No amount of fat loss will change your perception of unworthiness.

It’s also possible to take simultaneous journeys of persistence (#1) and acceptance (#2).

If that journey is for you, I recommend Tim Ferriss’s accessible fat loss article and book.

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